Life is better on drugs
Kategori: Livet
http://www.kontraband.com/pics/9653/Illustrated-Acid-Trip/
http://www.kontraband.com/pics/9653/Illustrated-Acid-Trip/
http://www.kontraband.com/pics/9653/Illustrated-Acid-Trip/
Some stuff you probably never wanted to know, but will be happy you learned!
Kategori: Livet
By 1800 B.C., the ass(Donkey) had reached the Middle East where the trading city of Damascus was referred to as the “City of Asses” in cuneiform texts.
The woodpeckers tongue is so long that it is not attached to the woodpecker's head as in most birds, but instead it curls back up around its skull, allowing it to be so long. Once the woodpecker locates an insects tunnel in a tree, it worms its tongue into the tunnel to try to locate the grub. The tongue of the woodpecker is long and ends in a barb. With its tongue the woodpecker skewers the grub and draws it out of the trunk.
When scientists first started capturing specimens of deep-sea Anglerfish, they noticed that all of the specimens were females. Almost all of them had what appeared to be parasites attached to them. It turned out that these "parasites" were the remains of male Anglerfish. The males have no digestive system, and thus are unable to feed independently. They must find a female quickly after hatching, or they will die.
Based on fossils, blood, and DNA, the closest living relatives of whales and dolphins are the Hippopotamus. Evidence shows that their ancestors split approximately 60 million years ago, and they are the closest living descendants of that ancestor species.
Calico cats (cats with coats of white, orange, and black fur) are almost always female. However, 1 in 3000 calico cats are males. These male calico cats have an extra X chromosome, and are usually sterile.
The Irish Wolfhound is considered to be the largest breed of dog. Male Irish Wolfhounds average between 36-40"(85-90cm) at the shoulders(withers). The average life span of an Irish Wolfhound is only six and a half years. Because of the large size and short lifespan of this breed, the Irish Wolfhound has a phenomenal growth rate as a puppy. When fed a proper diet, Irish Wolfhound puppies can grow over 3/4"(2cm) a week in height, and gain up to 1 pound(.45kg) a day. Irish Wolfhounds can grow to full size in as little as 8 months, although they are still considered puppies until 18 months old.
There are tales of Irish Wolfhounds being used in war to dismount warriors from the backs of horses, and of the dogs chasing lions away in Africa.
A meteoroid is particle floating in outer space that has a size ranging between a grain of sand and large boulder 10-50 meters across. Once a meteoroid enters the earth's atmosphere and becomes visible, it is considered a meteor. Most meteors burn up before they reach the ground. The remains of a meteor that impacts the earth, if it is not vaporized by the impact, is called a meteorite. Anything larger than a meteoroid is considered an asteroid.
Chevrolet produced the car Nova in hopes of selling world wide.However, sales seemed to be slow in Spain. After further investigation the people of Chevrolet uncovered that in spanish No Va means "No go".
I realised
Kategori: Livet
To explain myself a little I went to an extraordinary site called www.mysterygoogle.com.
They have a fnction that lets you search on google and the result of whatever the person before you searched for.
What I typed in was "If you are ready for a real mission email me" and then my email adress.
This crazy german follows my every lead, and I know I have used this pic before, but I feel this is a more suitable occasion.
The mission or how maria got the german arrested
Kategori: Livet
Maria:
First, soldier, you have to prepare for your mission.
This is the list of items that you will need:
1 x Teddy bear
1 x Bottle of ketchup
1 x unsuspecting neighbour
1 x bottle of glue alternatively duct tape.
Get back to me when you have acquired these items.
Over and out!
Tysk:
first part of mission completed.
over and out!
Maria:
Next step is to cut the teddy open, pour the ketchup into the pig and
await further instructions.
PS. If you have intestine-looking props hanging around, feel free to
include them.
PS2. If you are not soldier enough to kill a teddy for the sake of
mankind then you are NOT a soldier!
Get back to me when you have prepared the teddy!
Over
Tysk:
done. cruel person you are! but well, i guess ill have to do it heh. the teddy didnt even scream.
over and out!
Maria:
Good work soldier!!
Now, for the unsuspecting neighbour.
Does this neighbour have a car? Or any other sort of vehicle?
Over
Tysk:
the neighbours are really stupid. they've put mud in front of our frontdoor without any reason.
yes, they have a car. and theyr babykids bike ^^
over and out
Maria:
A grand observation soldier!
A child, hm? I like this already...
Addition to the list:
1 package of cooked spaghetti
More ketchup.
get back to me when the items are acquired.
Over!
Tysk
spaghettis will be cooked in about 8 mins.
spaghetti well cooked. they taste good.
i need more informations.
over and out
Maria:
Mix the pasta well with the ketchup. ALOT of ketchup.
Now, to the core of your mission, Soldier.
These neighbours you speak off will get a taste of their own spewing
guts on doors ans sitch.
For tonight soldier, you will place the bycycle by the car...
Is this a school / daycare night?
Over
Tysk:
well mixed. still tastes delicious.
schoolnight
Maria:
Good.
Now, what you do is you place the bicycle by the car (preferably in
the cover of night, like any good soldier would.)
You may want to include a friend or the likes for the next step.
You place the teddy on the hood of the car and the ketchup ed pasta on
the bicycle.
It is vital that you are not seen during this procedure.
Do you have ninja-training?
Over
Tysk:
ill do it with my two friends who live near my house. we will not be seen. i dont have ninja-training, but as im a balletdancer im very good in doing pirouettes to confuse my enemy.
over. part of the mission will be accomplished in about 15 mins, when they were here.
Maria:
Good work soldier!
I will check back with you later tonight.
No communication will be availible until then.
I suggest you hide these emails well.
Good luck Soldier!
Over and out
Tysk:
i shall be waiting for further instructions.
over and out
Maria:
What is your progress soldier?
Over.
Confusing innit?
Kategori: Livet
Exempel nummer ett ä r inte fullt lika upplyftande, men väger upp i upplysande i jämnförelse med exempel nummer två. Here it goes;
Vi vet ju alla att www.google.com är en gudagåva.
Alla de svar vi alltid velat ha är här, inför våra fötter (fingrar).
Nu, mina damer och herrar, har jag funnit något som är inte dubbelt så bra utan 4(!) gånger så underbart.
Glassa era ögon på;
www.googlegooglegooglegoogle.com
Alla övriga kommentarer vore överflödiga.
Moving on.
Jo, jag har nyligen blivit ett stort fan av en sida som kort och gott heter My Life Is Average (www.mylifeisaverage.com) där folk berättar om de små under som sker en vanlig dag i ett vanligt liv.
Inte bara upplyftande utan även informativt. Helt klart värt att kolla in.
Är ni något mer åt det mörka hållet eller av någon anledning känner att ni vill ha dåliga nyheter så finns det även en resort för er. Då heter den Fuck My Life och adresse dit är simpelt www.fmylife.com
För att tydliggöra skillnaden mellan de två kommer här ett par exempel:
FMyLife:
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
MyLifeIsAverage:
Today my team and I were on our way to a basketball, when one girl pointed out that there was a bed ontop of an office building. I looked over to find that a man in his pj's was laying down in it. Sleep tight, Strange Roof Man. MLIA.
Givetvis finns det både bättre och sämre exempel på siten men det där är dem ni får.
Nu ska jag approva lite changes.
Senare idag lovar jag att posta om gårdagen och hur jag fick en tysk balettdansare arresterad i natt.
And the god damned rabbit stole my joint.
Kategori: Livet
Friday, thank fuck its finally friday.
Feels like I have been waiting since I was born for Friday to show up.
Today it's cold, no snow, but cold enough to wear a hat to work and be cozy and drink coffee not only to fight the head but to keep warm as well. Feels nice.
Anywho, I was thinking on my way to work this morning about how to save the world.
I gave up half way here.
Today I post a place for the blog www.textsfromlastnight.com
A nice place to contemplate tonights events.
Cheers.
